1) Bunk 15% of all classes in all semesters. And no, not in the 'alarm bell rings for the 13th time-ummmmMMMMMmmm-mumble mumble-wipe the drool from the side of your mouth-wonder if its 7 o clock already-fumble around for the mobile phone-blink blink-manage to open one eyelid-FUCK its 8 o clock already-Oh man! I am gonna miss another A slot today! Shit dude!!-Ummm..well, its 8 already-Packkkk!! I dont have a cycle anyways..wont be able to reach class on time-Lemme sleep for 10 more minutes-set alarm for 8:30-yaawwwwwwn-fall off to sleep the very next instant' way. Bunk it in ishtyle, like Mr.Superman! For the uninitiated, 15% is the maximum we are allowed to bunk, lest you have a crush on the prof and want to repeat the course.
2) Sky dive from the top of the Class of 1974 Water Tank. For the other chicken-hearted souls, you could try bungee jumping. And for the losers out there, you could just climb to the top and enjoy a pleasant evening with your loser friends and a bottle of beer or two.
3) Slap Money. Or if you are the kind who likes to avoid face-to-face confrontations, you could run him over with your bicycle (Even better if you have a motorbike. Or a car!). He is not hard to miss either - from a distance you can spot a white shirt and a pair of white shorts floating towards you. Don't be afraid...its just our dear old Money. Go ram that concrete mixer truck straight into him!
4) Get-a-Girlfriend (GaG). Given the drastic decline in the female population density inside the IIT campus (even when compared to the rest of Chennai), you will start gagging if you dont GaG during your stay here (unless, of course, if you are from AP, Telengana or Rayalseema, in which case you would be quite used to this!). It is also highly advisable to GaG outside the institute.
5) OK. So you don't have the balls to GaG. Well, in that case, ask a girl out on a date to CCD (A Lot can happen over Coffee! And no, CCD isn't paying me for this). Just make sure that your friends are at the other end of Chennai when you go out with her.
6) Go on a round-the-insti trip along the Border Road. Prerequisites for this include a cycle in good working condition and loads of enthu(siasm). Best undertaken during the first year. Statutory Warning: Do NOT go alone...especially at night!
7) So you've managed to GaG or maybe ask a girl out on a date, but you're running short of ideas on places where you could take her to. Might I suggest a romantic evening atop the Old Well at the edge of the Insti Lake? The panorama is breathtaking and the cool wind, after the walk through the musty, thorn-strewn jungle, is awefsomely refreshing. Makes for quite a romantic getaway!
8) Step 3 successful! And you are still a student at IIT?! Congratulations! Well done!! Please contact me for your reward of $100,000 and a list of other individuals who need to be 'laid-off' during your tenure at IIT Madras.
9) Read this blog! Duh-uh!! How else would you get to know all the awefsome things that you can do while at IIT. (P.S. - My favourite character in Harry Potter was Narcissa Malfoy)
10) Go Wild Boar Hunting - Legend has it that when the moon is a ghostly galleon tossed upon smoggy seas, if you stop by the woods on a sultry evening behind Sharavati Hostel, you can see the silent silhouette of the Wild Boar lurking in the shadows, waiting to pounce on unsuspecting individuals and gore them with its steely talons and elephantine tusks. But seriously, people do claim to have seen it!
11) Try out all the roadside eateries outside Tharamani Gate - Sangeeth Fast Food, the Sandwich Guy, the Sutta Shop, Tidel Bakery, Andhra Mess 1, Andhra Mess 2, the Juice Shoppe, Tharamani Medicals, Velachery Electronics, Pintoo Hardware, Durai Saloon...
12) Attend Sharav Nite. At least once during your 4 years. What you may witness there, would make for a very interesting blog post. Or you might even be able to write a book on it - One Night At A Call Girl Center: By Ketan Bharat.
13) Cycle all the way to Mahabs. I haven't done it myself, but have seen loads of photos on Facebook of friends who claim to have done the same. If you don't try this now, you won't have the time or the patience or the enthu to do it once you 'pass out'!
14) Ask the Gurunath Nescafe Tea guy (GuruNT, pronounced 'grunt') for a Chimpanzee (yes, you read it right). This is how a normal conversation would go:
You: Sir, one chimpanzee.
GuruNT: Eh? (looking extremely perplexed)
You: Oru chimpanzee!
GuruNT: Sir, tea? (looking totally flabbergasted)
You: Yes!
15) Say 'hi' to arbit random unknown junta in mess.
Step 1: Don't register for mess, and get allocated to CR mess along with your wingmates.
Step 2: Go to mess together. The entire wing. And sit down on the same table near the entrance.
Step 3: Wave and say 'hi' to arbit junta as they leave or come in.
Step 4: *Trip*
P.S. - Make sure that you don't get so chummy, that the guys actually come and sit at your table!
16) Catch the sunrise at Besant Nagar beach. And while you are at it, you can even have breakfast (which becomes quite a rarity by the time you reach your final year) at Murugan Idli.
17) Ask a non-insti girl out for the Dance Workshop at Saarang. Now, lets be honest - you know that you aren't as dashing as Mr. Disco Dancer himself, and this is probably your best chance ever of dancing with a decent looking girl. (For those who need a bit of encouragement, please contact Mr.Nelson who got slapped 22 times by 13 different girls but still didn't give up!)
18) Get madly drunk. And puke in your friends room. Now clean that, you sucker!! An unobtrusive way of getting back at him for flirting with your girlfriend on Orkut.
19) Now that you've read till No.18, I am sure that some really wild and wicked ideas must be popping into your own devilish little minds about things that could be done at IIT. So as No.19, please suggest any other other absoflute things one should do out here. The top 3 suggestions will get a special mention! (Waiting to be blinded by your sheer awesomeness)
20) Write blogs when you are actually supposed to be doing your DDP. Shit! I think my thesis is due tomorrow morning...
Sunday, May 23, 2010
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