Saturday, June 26, 2010
Sunday, May 23, 2010
50 Things You Should Do Before You Leave IIT Madras!!
1) Bunk 15% of all classes in all semesters. And no, not in the 'alarm bell rings for the 13th time-ummmmMMMMMmmm-mumble mumble-wipe the drool from the side of your mouth-wonder if its 7 o clock already-fumble around for the mobile phone-blink blink-manage to open one eyelid-FUCK its 8 o clock already-Oh man! I am gonna miss another A slot today! Shit dude!!-Ummm..well, its 8 already-Packkkk!! I dont have a cycle anyways..wont be able to reach class on time-Lemme sleep for 10 more minutes-set alarm for 8:30-yaawwwwwwn-fall off to sleep the very next instant' way. Bunk it in ishtyle, like Mr.Superman! For the uninitiated, 15% is the maximum we are allowed to bunk, lest you have a crush on the prof and want to repeat the course.
2) Sky dive from the top of the Class of 1974 Water Tank. For the other chicken-hearted souls, you could try bungee jumping. And for the losers out there, you could just climb to the top and enjoy a pleasant evening with your loser friends and a bottle of beer or two.
3) Slap Money. Or if you are the kind who likes to avoid face-to-face confrontations, you could run him over with your bicycle (Even better if you have a motorbike. Or a car!). He is not hard to miss either - from a distance you can spot a white shirt and a pair of white shorts floating towards you. Don't be afraid...its just our dear old Money. Go ram that concrete mixer truck straight into him!
4) Get-a-Girlfriend (GaG). Given the drastic decline in the female population density inside the IIT campus (even when compared to the rest of Chennai), you will start gagging if you dont GaG during your stay here (unless, of course, if you are from AP, Telengana or Rayalseema, in which case you would be quite used to this!). It is also highly advisable to GaG outside the institute.
5) OK. So you don't have the balls to GaG. Well, in that case, ask a girl out on a date to CCD (A Lot can happen over Coffee! And no, CCD isn't paying me for this). Just make sure that your friends are at the other end of Chennai when you go out with her.
6) Go on a round-the-insti trip along the Border Road. Prerequisites for this include a cycle in good working condition and loads of enthu(siasm). Best undertaken during the first year. Statutory Warning: Do NOT go alone...especially at night!
7) So you've managed to GaG or maybe ask a girl out on a date, but you're running short of ideas on places where you could take her to. Might I suggest a romantic evening atop the Old Well at the edge of the Insti Lake? The panorama is breathtaking and the cool wind, after the walk through the musty, thorn-strewn jungle, is awefsomely refreshing. Makes for quite a romantic getaway!
8) Step 3 successful! And you are still a student at IIT?! Congratulations! Well done!! Please contact me for your reward of $100,000 and a list of other individuals who need to be 'laid-off' during your tenure at IIT Madras.
9) Read this blog! Duh-uh!! How else would you get to know all the awefsome things that you can do while at IIT. (P.S. - My favourite character in Harry Potter was Narcissa Malfoy)
10) Go Wild Boar Hunting - Legend has it that when the moon is a ghostly galleon tossed upon smoggy seas, if you stop by the woods on a sultry evening behind Sharavati Hostel, you can see the silent silhouette of the Wild Boar lurking in the shadows, waiting to pounce on unsuspecting individuals and gore them with its steely talons and elephantine tusks. But seriously, people do claim to have seen it!
11) Try out all the roadside eateries outside Tharamani Gate - Sangeeth Fast Food, the Sandwich Guy, the Sutta Shop, Tidel Bakery, Andhra Mess 1, Andhra Mess 2, the Juice Shoppe, Tharamani Medicals, Velachery Electronics, Pintoo Hardware, Durai Saloon...
12) Attend Sharav Nite. At least once during your 4 years. What you may witness there, would make for a very interesting blog post. Or you might even be able to write a book on it - One Night At A Call Girl Center: By Ketan Bharat.
13) Cycle all the way to Mahabs. I haven't done it myself, but have seen loads of photos on Facebook of friends who claim to have done the same. If you don't try this now, you won't have the time or the patience or the enthu to do it once you 'pass out'!
14) Ask the Gurunath Nescafe Tea guy (GuruNT, pronounced 'grunt') for a Chimpanzee (yes, you read it right). This is how a normal conversation would go:
You: Sir, one chimpanzee.
GuruNT: Eh? (looking extremely perplexed)
You: Oru chimpanzee!
GuruNT: Sir, tea? (looking totally flabbergasted)
You: Yes!
15) Say 'hi' to arbit random unknown junta in mess.
Step 1: Don't register for mess, and get allocated to CR mess along with your wingmates.
Step 2: Go to mess together. The entire wing. And sit down on the same table near the entrance.
Step 3: Wave and say 'hi' to arbit junta as they leave or come in.
Step 4: *Trip*
P.S. - Make sure that you don't get so chummy, that the guys actually come and sit at your table!
16) Catch the sunrise at Besant Nagar beach. And while you are at it, you can even have breakfast (which becomes quite a rarity by the time you reach your final year) at Murugan Idli.
17) Ask a non-insti girl out for the Dance Workshop at Saarang. Now, lets be honest - you know that you aren't as dashing as Mr. Disco Dancer himself, and this is probably your best chance ever of dancing with a decent looking girl. (For those who need a bit of encouragement, please contact Mr.Nelson who got slapped 22 times by 13 different girls but still didn't give up!)
18) Get madly drunk. And puke in your friends room. Now clean that, you sucker!! An unobtrusive way of getting back at him for flirting with your girlfriend on Orkut.
19) Now that you've read till No.18, I am sure that some really wild and wicked ideas must be popping into your own devilish little minds about things that could be done at IIT. So as No.19, please suggest any other other absoflute things one should do out here. The top 3 suggestions will get a special mention! (Waiting to be blinded by your sheer awesomeness)
20) Write blogs when you are actually supposed to be doing your DDP. Shit! I think my thesis is due tomorrow morning...
2) Sky dive from the top of the Class of 1974 Water Tank. For the other chicken-hearted souls, you could try bungee jumping. And for the losers out there, you could just climb to the top and enjoy a pleasant evening with your loser friends and a bottle of beer or two.
3) Slap Money. Or if you are the kind who likes to avoid face-to-face confrontations, you could run him over with your bicycle (Even better if you have a motorbike. Or a car!). He is not hard to miss either - from a distance you can spot a white shirt and a pair of white shorts floating towards you. Don't be afraid...its just our dear old Money. Go ram that concrete mixer truck straight into him!
4) Get-a-Girlfriend (GaG). Given the drastic decline in the female population density inside the IIT campus (even when compared to the rest of Chennai), you will start gagging if you dont GaG during your stay here (unless, of course, if you are from AP, Telengana or Rayalseema, in which case you would be quite used to this!). It is also highly advisable to GaG outside the institute.
5) OK. So you don't have the balls to GaG. Well, in that case, ask a girl out on a date to CCD (A Lot can happen over Coffee! And no, CCD isn't paying me for this). Just make sure that your friends are at the other end of Chennai when you go out with her.
6) Go on a round-the-insti trip along the Border Road. Prerequisites for this include a cycle in good working condition and loads of enthu(siasm). Best undertaken during the first year. Statutory Warning: Do NOT go alone...especially at night!
7) So you've managed to GaG or maybe ask a girl out on a date, but you're running short of ideas on places where you could take her to. Might I suggest a romantic evening atop the Old Well at the edge of the Insti Lake? The panorama is breathtaking and the cool wind, after the walk through the musty, thorn-strewn jungle, is awefsomely refreshing. Makes for quite a romantic getaway!
8) Step 3 successful! And you are still a student at IIT?! Congratulations! Well done!! Please contact me for your reward of $100,000 and a list of other individuals who need to be 'laid-off' during your tenure at IIT Madras.
9) Read this blog! Duh-uh!! How else would you get to know all the awefsome things that you can do while at IIT. (P.S. - My favourite character in Harry Potter was Narcissa Malfoy)
10) Go Wild Boar Hunting - Legend has it that when the moon is a ghostly galleon tossed upon smoggy seas, if you stop by the woods on a sultry evening behind Sharavati Hostel, you can see the silent silhouette of the Wild Boar lurking in the shadows, waiting to pounce on unsuspecting individuals and gore them with its steely talons and elephantine tusks. But seriously, people do claim to have seen it!
11) Try out all the roadside eateries outside Tharamani Gate - Sangeeth Fast Food, the Sandwich Guy, the Sutta Shop, Tidel Bakery, Andhra Mess 1, Andhra Mess 2, the Juice Shoppe, Tharamani Medicals, Velachery Electronics, Pintoo Hardware, Durai Saloon...
12) Attend Sharav Nite. At least once during your 4 years. What you may witness there, would make for a very interesting blog post. Or you might even be able to write a book on it - One Night At A Call Girl Center: By Ketan Bharat.
13) Cycle all the way to Mahabs. I haven't done it myself, but have seen loads of photos on Facebook of friends who claim to have done the same. If you don't try this now, you won't have the time or the patience or the enthu to do it once you 'pass out'!
14) Ask the Gurunath Nescafe Tea guy (GuruNT, pronounced 'grunt') for a Chimpanzee (yes, you read it right). This is how a normal conversation would go:
You: Sir, one chimpanzee.
GuruNT: Eh? (looking extremely perplexed)
You: Oru chimpanzee!
GuruNT: Sir, tea? (looking totally flabbergasted)
You: Yes!
15) Say 'hi' to arbit random unknown junta in mess.
Step 1: Don't register for mess, and get allocated to CR mess along with your wingmates.
Step 2: Go to mess together. The entire wing. And sit down on the same table near the entrance.
Step 3: Wave and say 'hi' to arbit junta as they leave or come in.
Step 4: *Trip*
P.S. - Make sure that you don't get so chummy, that the guys actually come and sit at your table!
16) Catch the sunrise at Besant Nagar beach. And while you are at it, you can even have breakfast (which becomes quite a rarity by the time you reach your final year) at Murugan Idli.
17) Ask a non-insti girl out for the Dance Workshop at Saarang. Now, lets be honest - you know that you aren't as dashing as Mr. Disco Dancer himself, and this is probably your best chance ever of dancing with a decent looking girl. (For those who need a bit of encouragement, please contact Mr.Nelson who got slapped 22 times by 13 different girls but still didn't give up!)
18) Get madly drunk. And puke in your friends room. Now clean that, you sucker!! An unobtrusive way of getting back at him for flirting with your girlfriend on Orkut.
19) Now that you've read till No.18, I am sure that some really wild and wicked ideas must be popping into your own devilish little minds about things that could be done at IIT. So as No.19, please suggest any other other absoflute things one should do out here. The top 3 suggestions will get a special mention! (Waiting to be blinded by your sheer awesomeness)
20) Write blogs when you are actually supposed to be doing your DDP. Shit! I think my thesis is due tomorrow morning...
Wednesday, April 28, 2010
Solitary Souls
On the bench she sits secluded, drops of mourning in her eyes
The dark wind in her hair billowing, like the ominous cloudy skies
Sits staring at her entwined fingers, invisible book of fate she reads
Memories, her favourite friend, plays with the young girl in the streets
All the lonely people, where do they all belong
All the lonely people, where do they all begone
Amongst their peaceful resting places, he treads with caution past the names
Where the wind whistles a wild song, you can hear her calling out his name
Placing the bunch of paper flowers, on the stone that seperates the lovers
Like the lamb on the sacrificial altar, swept away under the dusk's covers
All the lonely people, where do they all belong
All the lonely people, where do they all begone
She wanders like the moon across the night sky, reflected in the sea of humanity
Those tranquil eyes yet seem so lost, like ghostly galleons upon stormy seas
Meandering through the stone garden, where her mother sleeps with her friends
The little girl picks up those papery flowers,and sells it to the lady on the bench
All the lonely people, where do they all belong
All the lonely people, where do they all begone
The dark wind in her hair billowing, like the ominous cloudy skies
Sits staring at her entwined fingers, invisible book of fate she reads
Memories, her favourite friend, plays with the young girl in the streets
All the lonely people, where do they all belong
All the lonely people, where do they all begone
Amongst their peaceful resting places, he treads with caution past the names
Where the wind whistles a wild song, you can hear her calling out his name
Placing the bunch of paper flowers, on the stone that seperates the lovers
Like the lamb on the sacrificial altar, swept away under the dusk's covers
All the lonely people, where do they all belong
All the lonely people, where do they all begone
She wanders like the moon across the night sky, reflected in the sea of humanity
Those tranquil eyes yet seem so lost, like ghostly galleons upon stormy seas
Meandering through the stone garden, where her mother sleeps with her friends
The little girl picks up those papery flowers,and sells it to the lady on the bench
All the lonely people, where do they all belong
All the lonely people, where do they all begone
Tuesday, February 9, 2010
Death of a Relationship
The wake up call to the rented room
Sounded like the toll of impending doom
While the silence hung in my empty head
Downstairs they sung dirges for the dead
We walked down the road to our rendezvous
The silent town seemed to be mourning too
And the Banyan roots like the banshee's hair
Were just silent mutes waving in despair
While we watched the sun paint the sky red
She talked of how love was underrated
And there I knew it would never be alright
But I was true, when I told her I had lied
She got up, left, never said goodbye
And all she left to remember her by
Were the stains of red on her glass of wine
And drops she'd shed on the drapes; drying
I called her up, ten thousand times
She never picked up, those ringing mimes
Sounded like the toll of impending doom
While the silence hung in my empty head
Downstairs they sung dirges for the dead
We walked down the road to our rendezvous
The silent town seemed to be mourning too
And the Banyan roots like the banshee's hair
Were just silent mutes waving in despair
While we watched the sun paint the sky red
She talked of how love was underrated
And there I knew it would never be alright
But I was true, when I told her I had lied
She got up, left, never said goodbye
And all she left to remember her by
Were the stains of red on her glass of wine
And drops she'd shed on the drapes; drying
I called her up, ten thousand times
She never picked up, those ringing mimes
Monday, April 20, 2009
The Nature of Beauty...
Have you ever walked barefoot on the beach
and felt your feet caress the waves
Have you ever visited those you cant reach
where the wind whispers by their graves
Have you ever stared at the scarlet skies
or sailed on the clouds on a stormy night
Have you ever read the emotions in her eyes
and wondered if it were love at first sight
Have you ever played the scarecrow
and in the fields watched the daffodils dance
Have you ever fought with a friend or foe
but then given them a second chance
Have you ever undone what you've done
or wished you could see the unseen
Have you ever truly loved someone
and realized what it truly means
P.S. - This post is dedicated to TS - thanks for all the encouragement!
and felt your feet caress the waves
Have you ever visited those you cant reach
where the wind whispers by their graves
Have you ever stared at the scarlet skies
or sailed on the clouds on a stormy night
Have you ever read the emotions in her eyes
and wondered if it were love at first sight
Have you ever played the scarecrow
and in the fields watched the daffodils dance
Have you ever fought with a friend or foe
but then given them a second chance
Have you ever undone what you've done
or wished you could see the unseen
Have you ever truly loved someone
and realized what it truly means
P.S. - This post is dedicated to TS - thanks for all the encouragement!
Wednesday, February 18, 2009
Untitled
Red. The hue of war. Of danger. Of ominous forebodings. The traffic sign turned red signaling the traffic to stop. That was her sign too. A sign for her to amble through the arrested traffic asking for alms. To feed herself. And her six siblings. The dying rays of the sun, which had rendered the evening sky bloodshot, leered down upon her face. The red ribbons restraining her matted hair were aglow in the crimson sunlight.
Far ahead, he noticed the signal turn red, but didn't slow down the bus. He was far away. By the bedside of his ailing wife, in the dimly lit, dingy room of his double-roomed house in Daulatpur. He had barely been able to make ends meet since she has been diagnosed with her disease. Sitting at the side of the bed, his six year old Sonu was swinging her polio-stricken legs aimlessly, her crutches lying within an arms reach. It was her birthday today...
It had been his birthday yesterday. And what a night it had been. Sitting back in the artificially cooled interiors of his luxury car, staring absently out of the dark tinted window, he reminisced about the party while waiting for the light to change from red. The who's who of society had been there. And the entire event had gone without a glitch. After that had ended, he'd spent the night in a five star suite. With six children from his NGO. A shiver ran down his spine which had nothing to do with the air conditioning.
The heat during the day had been oppressing. The red hot sun had seemed ablaze. She was glad that it was finally over. Her dress was soiled by the sweat and grime of the day. The day had been productive - she had managed to earn a fistful of coins and was feeling satisfied. With her doll Gulabi clutched under her arm, she wandered from on vehicle to another, her little crooked fingers asking the questions and the movement of their heads answering back. Hungrily, she licked the beads of perspiration on her lip and moved on.
He glanced hungrily at his watch ti check the time till his shift concluded. He couldn't see how the future was going to unfold for his family. Everything seemed dusky. Everything seemed to be slowing down. He still hadn't slowed down the bus. His eyes rested on the idol of the deity on the dashboard. They became transfixed, ensnared by the hypnotic rhythm of the red lights dancing around its periphery. He closed his eyes to pray to God.
God was a farce. So was the NGO. He smirked. He considered it as his penance for the dastardly deeds he had done in business and otherwise. He was jolted out of his reverie by a tap on the tinted window. A young girl was standing outside begging for her livelihood. She was dressed in red rags, quite unlike the seemingly new doll she was holding. He reached into his pocket and withdrew a fifty rupee note and handed it over to her. Penance, he muttered, as he watched her turn away to leave.
It was Allah's atonement, she thought. Fifty rupees! Had anyone ever earned as much in a single day? A rush of emotions throbbed through her painfully-fast-beating heart. She was delirious with happiness. She had never ever even dreamed of seeing this day. She never saw the bus either.
He never saw the little girl. A muted thud and the sudden lurch of the bus shattered his trance. The passengers still seemed oblivious. Then suddenly the enormity of what had just happened struck him with the force of a battering ram. He knew what he had to do. Run. He jumped down from the bus, trying to avert his eyes from the ghastly sight. He stopped suddenly, bent below and picked up the doll - with her roughed cheeks and red lips. Then he jumped across the divider and disappeared into the oncoming traffic.
She had disappeared. One moment she was there and the next instant she wasn't. Had she been an angel? Someone was running away. He opened the door - and there she was, lying lifeless on the now red concrete road. And he suddenly realized - as he picked up her motionless body and carried it to the car - that this was going to be the first of his several acts of self-abasement.
She was declared dead at the hospital.
P.S. - Can someone suggest a title? I couldn't think of one.
P.P.S. - Celebrating an entire year of sporadic blogging. Happy Budday Blog!!
Far ahead, he noticed the signal turn red, but didn't slow down the bus. He was far away. By the bedside of his ailing wife, in the dimly lit, dingy room of his double-roomed house in Daulatpur. He had barely been able to make ends meet since she has been diagnosed with her disease. Sitting at the side of the bed, his six year old Sonu was swinging her polio-stricken legs aimlessly, her crutches lying within an arms reach. It was her birthday today...
It had been his birthday yesterday. And what a night it had been. Sitting back in the artificially cooled interiors of his luxury car, staring absently out of the dark tinted window, he reminisced about the party while waiting for the light to change from red. The who's who of society had been there. And the entire event had gone without a glitch. After that had ended, he'd spent the night in a five star suite. With six children from his NGO. A shiver ran down his spine which had nothing to do with the air conditioning.
The heat during the day had been oppressing. The red hot sun had seemed ablaze. She was glad that it was finally over. Her dress was soiled by the sweat and grime of the day. The day had been productive - she had managed to earn a fistful of coins and was feeling satisfied. With her doll Gulabi clutched under her arm, she wandered from on vehicle to another, her little crooked fingers asking the questions and the movement of their heads answering back. Hungrily, she licked the beads of perspiration on her lip and moved on.
He glanced hungrily at his watch ti check the time till his shift concluded. He couldn't see how the future was going to unfold for his family. Everything seemed dusky. Everything seemed to be slowing down. He still hadn't slowed down the bus. His eyes rested on the idol of the deity on the dashboard. They became transfixed, ensnared by the hypnotic rhythm of the red lights dancing around its periphery. He closed his eyes to pray to God.
God was a farce. So was the NGO. He smirked. He considered it as his penance for the dastardly deeds he had done in business and otherwise. He was jolted out of his reverie by a tap on the tinted window. A young girl was standing outside begging for her livelihood. She was dressed in red rags, quite unlike the seemingly new doll she was holding. He reached into his pocket and withdrew a fifty rupee note and handed it over to her. Penance, he muttered, as he watched her turn away to leave.
It was Allah's atonement, she thought. Fifty rupees! Had anyone ever earned as much in a single day? A rush of emotions throbbed through her painfully-fast-beating heart. She was delirious with happiness. She had never ever even dreamed of seeing this day. She never saw the bus either.
He never saw the little girl. A muted thud and the sudden lurch of the bus shattered his trance. The passengers still seemed oblivious. Then suddenly the enormity of what had just happened struck him with the force of a battering ram. He knew what he had to do. Run. He jumped down from the bus, trying to avert his eyes from the ghastly sight. He stopped suddenly, bent below and picked up the doll - with her roughed cheeks and red lips. Then he jumped across the divider and disappeared into the oncoming traffic.
She had disappeared. One moment she was there and the next instant she wasn't. Had she been an angel? Someone was running away. He opened the door - and there she was, lying lifeless on the now red concrete road. And he suddenly realized - as he picked up her motionless body and carried it to the car - that this was going to be the first of his several acts of self-abasement.
She was declared dead at the hospital.
P.S. - Can someone suggest a title? I couldn't think of one.
P.P.S. - Celebrating an entire year of sporadic blogging. Happy Budday Blog!!
Monday, October 20, 2008
Obsessions of an IITian
Being a student at one of India’s leading ‘excellence in engineering education’ institutions, I don’t want to sound obnoxious. However the list enlisted below is loosely based on my own personal experiences with the residents here, and is more or less pretty accurate.
1. Girls –
There is no questioning their dominance at the top of this list. And no, I am not talking about the ‘girls’ at IIT. Rather, this class includes all the femme fatales that we IITians manage to zero down upon after hours and hours and hours of browsing through profiles on Orkut, Facebook, MySpace and the likes. And then arises the dilemma of how to approach them. A few try the direct ‘fraanship’ approach; some seek the more subtle wait-and-watch approach while the rest (a majority) stoop down to the level of sending ‘Will you become my sister’ messages just to add them to their friend’s list. This list also includes the girls from the local non-engineering arts colleges.
2. Google –
This, we believe, is the greatest tool ever created by mankind (err…I mean created by the deity – Larry Sergey). The Google ranks even above The Fire and The Wheel on the list of ‘Greatest Inventions ever invented’. For more information and statistics on the usage of the aforementioned apparatus by IITians, please visit http://www.google.com
3. Wikipedia –
And this, dear friends, is the big bad brother-in-law of Google. (Jimmy Wales, the creator of Wikipedia, is actually Larry’s wife’s mother’s sister’s husband’s father’s cousin’s brother’s nephew’s daughter’s uncle’s grandmother’s niece’s aunt’s son!). Projects, assignments, reviews, tests, quizzes, final examinations, presentations…you name it and we use it. Not surprisingly, our bedtime prayers include a verse – “We thank thee Lord for Wiki”.
4. The Opposite Sex –
Not to be confused with Class 1. This refers to the damsels who flock to our campus during our Cultural or Technical Fests. But beware, as even these not-so-well-endowed-in-the-looks-category ladies have the power to make us drool all over and follow them around with our tongues hanging out, hoping that they’ll answer in the affirmative if we ask them out for the Salsa workshop to be held the next day.
5. Jobs in the Financial Sector –
This is where all the money and moolah is. (Or rather was!). Sadly though, the current meltdown of the global financial markets seems to have limited our options. But no fear, coz Infosys and TCS are always here!!
6. American Universities –
The prospect of higher education (in spite of studying at one of the epitomes of higher education in India) draws us to those far-off fairytale lands like vultures to a dead carcass. And the opportunity to acquire greater knowledge and maybe, to go along, a couple of firangi chicks as well is a major plus point.
7. Non-males –
Please don’t get me wrong. By non-males we do not refer to the third sex but rather to the inmates of the inappropriately named ‘Girls Hostel’ at the IITs. Nevertheless they are a rare species to be found only amongst the fauna and flora of the beautiful campuses. Most of the non-males (apparently) already have ‘boyfriends’ outside the campus, while others manage to locate the love of the lives on the campus itself during their 4 year stints. One must acknowledge the fact that they do bring variety and diversity to the otherwise dull and dreary life here.
8. Social Networking Sites –
If the number of ‘Kamlesh invites you to join My-Chaddi-Buddy.com’ invitations were anything to go by, it would seem that a new social networking site comes up every other day. And we end up accepting most of these invites. Why? Refer to the 1st obsession.
9. LAN – Acronym for Local Area Network.
Move over HBO, Channel V and Star News. This is the one stop shop for all our entertainment needs. Games, movies, sitcoms, pirated software, e-books, still more games….The perfect paradise for all IIT intellectuals (read geeks).
10. _____________ -
T. Patrick, C. Lane, J. Haze, Paris Hilton, Jenna Jameson, Pamela Anderson, My Friend’s Hot Son…..I think you must have got the gist of what I am trying to get at (especially if you are an IITian).
P.S. – This post is dedicated to Ms. Bon Travail, Layla and Abhinav T. for encouraging me to keep writing. And also to TS who is looking for an IITian!!
1. Girls –
There is no questioning their dominance at the top of this list. And no, I am not talking about the ‘girls’ at IIT. Rather, this class includes all the femme fatales that we IITians manage to zero down upon after hours and hours and hours of browsing through profiles on Orkut, Facebook, MySpace and the likes. And then arises the dilemma of how to approach them. A few try the direct ‘fraanship’ approach; some seek the more subtle wait-and-watch approach while the rest (a majority) stoop down to the level of sending ‘Will you become my sister’ messages just to add them to their friend’s list. This list also includes the girls from the local non-engineering arts colleges.
2. Google –
This, we believe, is the greatest tool ever created by mankind (err…I mean created by the deity – Larry Sergey). The Google ranks even above The Fire and The Wheel on the list of ‘Greatest Inventions ever invented’. For more information and statistics on the usage of the aforementioned apparatus by IITians, please visit http://www.google.com
3. Wikipedia –
And this, dear friends, is the big bad brother-in-law of Google. (Jimmy Wales, the creator of Wikipedia, is actually Larry’s wife’s mother’s sister’s husband’s father’s cousin’s brother’s nephew’s daughter’s uncle’s grandmother’s niece’s aunt’s son!). Projects, assignments, reviews, tests, quizzes, final examinations, presentations…you name it and we use it. Not surprisingly, our bedtime prayers include a verse – “We thank thee Lord for Wiki”.
4. The Opposite Sex –
Not to be confused with Class 1. This refers to the damsels who flock to our campus during our Cultural or Technical Fests. But beware, as even these not-so-well-endowed-in-the-looks-category ladies have the power to make us drool all over and follow them around with our tongues hanging out, hoping that they’ll answer in the affirmative if we ask them out for the Salsa workshop to be held the next day.
5. Jobs in the Financial Sector –
This is where all the money and moolah is. (Or rather was!). Sadly though, the current meltdown of the global financial markets seems to have limited our options. But no fear, coz Infosys and TCS are always here!!
6. American Universities –
The prospect of higher education (in spite of studying at one of the epitomes of higher education in India) draws us to those far-off fairytale lands like vultures to a dead carcass. And the opportunity to acquire greater knowledge and maybe, to go along, a couple of firangi chicks as well is a major plus point.
7. Non-males –
Please don’t get me wrong. By non-males we do not refer to the third sex but rather to the inmates of the inappropriately named ‘Girls Hostel’ at the IITs. Nevertheless they are a rare species to be found only amongst the fauna and flora of the beautiful campuses. Most of the non-males (apparently) already have ‘boyfriends’ outside the campus, while others manage to locate the love of the lives on the campus itself during their 4 year stints. One must acknowledge the fact that they do bring variety and diversity to the otherwise dull and dreary life here.
8. Social Networking Sites –
If the number of ‘Kamlesh invites you to join My-Chaddi-Buddy.com’ invitations were anything to go by, it would seem that a new social networking site comes up every other day. And we end up accepting most of these invites. Why? Refer to the 1st obsession.
9. LAN – Acronym for Local Area Network.
Move over HBO, Channel V and Star News. This is the one stop shop for all our entertainment needs. Games, movies, sitcoms, pirated software, e-books, still more games….The perfect paradise for all IIT intellectuals (read geeks).
10. _____________ -
T. Patrick, C. Lane, J. Haze, Paris Hilton, Jenna Jameson, Pamela Anderson, My Friend’s Hot Son…..I think you must have got the gist of what I am trying to get at (especially if you are an IITian).
P.S. – This post is dedicated to Ms. Bon Travail, Layla and Abhinav T. for encouraging me to keep writing. And also to TS who is looking for an IITian!!
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